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Week 18 - in Turkey we find Gul reflecting on family and the irretrievable nature of time

Edited BY

G P Kennedy

 

Gul - Istanbul, Turkey

 

GOOD OLD DAYS

 We all yearn for the past and often say 'oh, good old holidays'. In old times, the Bayram – that’s what we call for religious festivals- meant visiting family elderly relatives & neighbors, then recent years, going on holidays, and now, is neither family visits nor holidays. Thanks to the COVID-19.

 

 We’re on the second day of the Feast of the Sacrifice. There are more people at this Aegean Coast as people came to their parent’s summerhouses instead of going to holiday. You see the smile on older people’s face and gardens full of laughter and fun.

 

 This time last year, we were at the same coast but everything changed in this one year. The fun part has gone completely and we entered in a very quiet summer period. Last year we enjoyed the summer sun with friends and family. We had many BBQs at our garden and invited lots of people. This year, everyone kept themselves a respectful distance to others. Everyone had BBQ just for themselves, we did too.

We stopped doing our favorite boat trips this season

 

 Boat trips at Ayvalik islands are absolutely wonderful, fantastic boat, amazing stop offs for swimming and delicious food. The boat had also lots of entertainment on the top floor, DJ on the deck, people were dancing and doing silly competitions. I can’t imagine ourselves being in a boat eating and dancing with strangers this year.

 

 One year ago, almost to the day, we were enjoying our nights around this beautiful island, Cunda. The Island is in its own rights, the true gem of the Aegean coast. This little island revolves around the harbor where narrow streets are lined with bars, restaurants, and little shops. 

Uncomfortably crowded in the narrow streets of Cunda Island

 On Thursday, we booked a taxi to go there but we felt uncomfortable walking through the narrow streets. Because of the feast of the sacrifice many people were holidaying and ignoring the rules. We went to our favorite restaurant to eat but looked so crowded, we left without eating. That was it! I don’t think we would go to any popular tourism destination this summer.

 

FRIEND VISIT CANCELLED

 I was looking forward that my close friend from the UK was visiting us this summer. I planned everything in February but spoke too soon! Our plan was to meet up at Izmir, for a nice city break, then come to our summerhouse. We would enjoy swimming pool, next to ours or go to a beautiful beach and enjoy our evenings at the busy harbor.

 

 Unfortunately, we had to cancel her trip that I’m very sad now. First, flying is still too risky secondly, I wouldn’t want her to spend money on a quiet holiday. I would want her to see what is the best in this place. Instead of spoiled for choice, there would be no swimming pool, no taste of local life, night outs and some island shopping. I hope she’ll have an amazing holiday with us next summer if this pandemic ends.


FEAST OF THE SACRIFICE

 Holidays bring holiday memories, and many times a sense of nostalgia for good times long gone, sometimes loved ones long gone, like my mother. In a way, holidays bring together people when they cannot be together.

 

 I remember bittersweet Bayrams that were more complicated than happy family gatherings because the bitter part is knowing that the past is irretrievable, it never be again, also being the sweet part.


 I remember waking up at 3 o’clock in the morning, asking Mum’ is it time to get up yet?’ Our new dresses would be hanging on the door and shoes on the bottom. Every feast new clothes and a pair of shoes were bought but they were definitely not worn before the feast. Most of the times you would wait for the new clothes or shoes until the feast anyway.

 

 My sister and I used to wear matching outfits. She’s only a year younger than me and people always thought that we were twins. This wouldn’t be wrong as we’re twins on our birth certificates. The funny story is that my lazy father forgets to register me when I was born, waits a year until my sister was born to avoid penalty, then goes to the Registry Office saying ‘hey, I have twins!’

Tiny Gul and family all dressed up for a celebration

 Most of all; it’s the memories of the real meaning of that Bayrams that the whole family would be gathering together and mum would be with us.

 

 My mother's feast preparations would take days. First she would clean the house from head to toe, then do a binge shopping.


 All siblings would come together for the first morning of Bayram for breakfast. My mum would bake different pastries what everyone likes, try to make everyone happy. That’s how I remember her. This is also bitter –sweet part of my memories.

 

Food would be served for every guest, whenever they come. Stuffed leaves, kurban kavurma - meat roasting from the sacrificed animal - rice and some hand made baklavas as a desert.

 

 I remember those Bayrams at our family home at Faikpaşa Street, coolest neighborhoods right now in Istanbul. Bayrams were so joyful, you would easily see the happiness in our innocent eyes. I fondly remember our gifts from family and neighbors too.

 

 We used to knock on all neighbors’ doors for some candies and pocket monies that we would spend for junk food and little toys at our local shop. We would know which neighbors were generous so we would go to their house first. All you needed to kiss their hand as a sign of respect. I always hated that part! The good thing I remember, the money was put in the handkerchief as it wasn’t nice to give it directly. Good old days...

 

THE LOST OF SENSE OF CONNECTEDNESS

 Of course no more knocking on neighbors’ doors these days. It’s too dangerous for kids. Today’s kids don’t even notice it’s a Bayram. No need to wait a special day to have a new dress or a pair of shoes. It’s shame to accept a pocket money from a neighbor. The most importantly there’s a big debate of animal sacrifice. 


Hayat Bayram Olsa’If only living would be like a feast’, was our favorite song (1973) reflects our childhood days very well.

if only living would be like a feast

if only all people would hold each other's hands

if only they would get all together

if only we all would reach out to eternity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YdgJFTbt8k

 

 

 

Comments

  1. Another illuminating share Gul. I'm very sad not to be joining you this year. Let's hope the world looks different next year and we can enjoy some more special times together.

    ReplyDelete

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