Edited BY
G P Kennedy
This week we give our opening page to our sister, Peace. She is suffering the loss of a dear friend at a time when her home town and country are struggling with the global pandemic. Let us all reach out our arms to support Peace at a very difficult time.
We are with you, Ogechi.
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| Dear friend, Ibidun, with her family |
Peace – Lagos, Nigeria
It has been a busy week; working on the phone, Google hangouts, Zoom meetings, I’m tired of Zoom and Zoom conferences. Data costs are ridiculous.
The Black Lives Matter (BLM) campaign escalated around the world as protesters continued to make a point of asking Governments to realize that all humans are equal.
People defied the social distancing laws. “So, is COVID-19 real?” someone asked me. Many people who have a conspiracy theory that the coronavirus is a Biological virus that was released to reset the world order.
Remember we have all been locked down in our homes for over two months, told to avoid crowds, wash our hands regularly, clean every surface even when you buy food items you disinfect it. Now, all of a sudden, people don’t care anymore and are in more crowds than before the lockdown
“The virus that causes COVID-19 is mainly transmitted through droplets generated when an infected person coughs, sneezes, or exhales. These droplets are too heavy to hang in the air and quickly fall on floors or surfaces.
“You can be infected by breathing in the virus if you are within close proximity of someone who has COVID-19, or by touching a contaminated surface and then your eyes, nose, or mouth.”
So what has changed? The figures haven’t gone haywire in the US. We are still within the range of expected deaths of 130k although almost 2million people have now been infected.
Nigeria has increased its testing to almost 80,000 tests and 12,000 infected persons about 8000 active cases, approximately 340 deaths. Our figures for tests are still low, I still don’t think it’s near enough, I am still praying they embrace faster and less tedious testing mechanisms so that we can discover, isolate and treat faster.
Our lockdown rules have relaxed, even more, some states have started religious worship and Lagos, where I am, starts in 2 weeks, I actually don’t get the rationale as numbers are increasing but we are unlocking the country’s local flights, interstate travels start also on the 21st June 2020.
Businesses and survival of the economy seem more paramount now. We hear of more people down with the virus. Someone I know died of the virus last week Sunday. It seems the virus stays longer than 14 days, plus it seems we are in this for the long haul; the world will just have to deploy new ways of keeping it going whilst fighting to get a cure to this virus. So masks and face shields will be with us for a while I see, the rest is up to the CHI of the Universe.
Also, the #METOO campaign is rocking Nigeria “The Me Too (or #Me-too) movement, with variations of related local or international names, is a movement against sexual harassment and sexual abuse where people publicize their allegations of sex crimes committed by powerful and/or prominent men.”
The Film and Tech industry had a lot of revelations with people’s outing as predators. It’s been very difficult week for some of us.
The Rape culture and sexual harassment are systemic in the culture, a country that has incest as almost as culture, where people believe that most women have to sleep their way to the top. Men tend to see women as objects rather than equals; my position on RAPE is that it is the biggest assault to women. NO is NO, but there are always issues with rape cases. Evidence is a problem and victimization of the victims as well as stigma.
This is a topic I will come back to as it continues to unfold especially as it pertains to the film industry.
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Majek Fashek, another gone to soon |
Majek Fashek, a Nigerian reggae legend, died on the 2nd June 2020, and the rains heralded his departure. His most popular song is Send Down the Rain, and it rained cats dogs and crocodiles. He died in his sleep in New York.
He was an enigma, a musical genius that battled the demons of the flesh and the spirit. He got hooked on drugs but was spiritually dealing with other issues that consumed his life.
The musician, whose real name was Majekodunmi Fasheke, also worked with stars like Jimmy Cliff, Tracy Chapman, and Snoop Dogg
So Long Too Long https://youtu.be/nXQwEz8zMvE
Send Down the Rain https://youtu.be/fwoOzGqjxDI
It’s been a busy week for me as the Mask up Africa campaign took off this week in earnest join the conversation on twitter #maskUPAfrica also on FACEBOOK MASK UP AFRICA. Like our page and follows on Twitter for updates on the campaign. We are still trying to get the right dynamics for donations, but donations have started to trickle in. You are welcome to support our mission.
As the week rolled into another one, so many things were the same as the past week, with numbers rising, protests, and rape issues being discussed.
We celebrated 12th June 2020 as Democracy day to right the wrongs of the past in our history of denying MKO Abiola a presidency he won in a free and fair election.
Then Sunday morning came and I switched on the phone only to see the pictures of Ibidun on all WhatsApp groups. Was it her birthday? No! Ibidun was dead. Whoa! Ibidun, what of Pastor Ituah, how would he cope?
Ibidun and I shared a journey seeking to have our own biological children, failed IVFs and the best hospitals to try. She set up a foundation to help couples have children; she made many couples happy with her philanthropy.
I went on a path of supporting orphanages. Ibidun Ighodalo was a colleague in the event planning business of the entertainment industry and astute unassuming businesswoman and a friend. There have been so many losses in 2020, and right now, I don’t even know what to say to Pastor Ituah, a close family friend, he was there when my brother passed.
May the CHI of the Universe embrace Pastor in his hands at this time.
Ituah and Ibidun represented what true love is for many.
Rest in Perfect Peace Ibidun!
Today, I remembered my last year at the university when it was in the mid final exams. I think it was in June 1989. My friend’s father flew in to tell me that my T had passed on. How do feel when you are told that the love of your life has died?
I remember I became a zombie, as I wrote my final Law exams. I know that I looked at his father without any words that could console me at that time. I was told that I rushed out of the apartment, I know I walked for miles in a total daze, a zombie for weeks and months and many more weird things after the exams.
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| There is comfort in song |
I had been preparing to get married but now it was to bury the “Ihunnaya” of my life. He asked to be cremated after his death. I questioned my faith. How could T die? Why me? Why God? So many questions with no answers, this was my childhood sweetheart. He was ten years older than me and loved me, as we would say like “KILODE.” T always sang, I got you Babe lyrics UB40.
They say we're young and we don't know
We won't find out until we grow
Well I don't know if all that's true
'Cause you got me, and baby I got you
Babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
They say our love won't pay the rent
Before it's earned, our money's all been spent
I guess that's so, we don't have a plot
But at least I'm sure of all the things we got
Babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
I got flowers in the spring
I got you to wear my ring
And when I'm sad, you're a clown
And if I get scared, you're always around
Don't let them say your hair's too long
'Cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong
Then put your little hand in mine
There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb
Babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you…
I had to find me. I set off on a journey that took me traveling China and India. Whilst on this trip, I learnt so much with Buddhism and meditation that could help me manage my grief. There are some loves you don’t recover from. I presume right now, Ituah will be in that space. Sad. Very sad. Covid-19 makes it more even painful as we cannot come as friends to grieve together and the pain will probably be more.
I grieved in solace as many would not understand the devastation I felt, only very close people who knew how my room at Boarding school in Wiltshire was filled with all the kinds of roses on my 18th Birthday would understand my fairy tale “Ihunnaya.”
Years have rolled by, but 17th June makes it 31 years T passed. The fire in my house in Lagos took all the pictures I had left and most of the letters keepsakes etc. and robbers took the jewelry but he remains in my heart—the most important place. I still miss him deeply as lover, brother, soul mate, and what might have been. Yes it’s hard when you lose your soul mate. Rest in power T, forever loved and missed.
What helped me in healing is the combination of understanding spirituality and religion. I am still a Christian but Buddhism is a not a religion but a way of life. I found my way back to Christianity embracing religion and spirituality in a manner my father understood.
This Sunday I found myself playing so many songs to help me deal with the mood that enveloped me.
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